


Just Not Ready

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, First Time, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Just Not Ready

What if I’m never ready?

Spencer was coming over after being away for a week and a half. All you wanted to do was hug him and hold him and kiss him, but you expected that Spencer might be ready for more. And it wasn’t him…but you juts weren’t ready. But what if you never were? You didn’t want to lose him; he was one of the best things that had ever happened to you. 

As you looked in the mirror, taking in the absolutely perfect winged eyeliner, rosy cheeks and mauve-tinged lips, you wondered whether or not you should just go for it. Maybe it was just nerves that would subside when it came down to it. Yea that was probably it. 

Spencer was amazing; he was beautiful and kind and ridiculously smart. You were definitely just nervous. It would be fine.

When you heard a knock at the door, your heart jumped into your throat. “Spence?”

“I’m finally home!” He said excitedly. It had been nearly a week and a half; you’d really missed him. 

You opened the door, your palms sweaty and shaky. “Hey,” you breathed. He looked tired, but the smile on his face couldn’t be wiped off. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he said softly, his voice tingling throughout your body as he stepped into the doorway and lifted you into his arms. Your bodies fit together perfectly, and again you told yourself that the nerves rolling through you were just that. 

This, the instant relaxation that overtook you both when you first saw each other, was great. His hands would glide over your skin, trailing goosebumps in their wake, while you sighed into his ear. The little pecks and kisses and licks he’d leave all over your chest and neck were marks that made you his, which was exactly what you wanted to be. 

Spencer lifted your shirt over your head and tossed it to the side, before doing the same with his own shirt. His lean and toned chest flexed ever so slightly under your touch. “I really have missed you,” he smiled, placing your legs around his waist. 

You could feel his arousal against his jeans and internally gasped. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yea,” you said quickly as you bit down on his lower lip. It had never gotten to this place before, so close to the bedroom, but that’s where you were headed. It’s just nerves, you told yourself. 

Something changed inside you the moment he took his hand off your back to open the door. Panic was all you could describe it as - but why were you so nervous? Falling onto the bed, you arched underneath him, lifting your butt slightly so he could remove you jeans, but the second he had, his gaze crept upward. “Y/N,” he said, stopping what he was doing and pushing up onto his knees. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m fine,” you lied. You wanted him more than anything. How the fuck were you supposed to know what ready was?

His thumb slid down your cheek, taking in the slight tremble that you weren’t even aware of yourself until he said so. “You’re shaking, Y/N. Are you ready for this? Please…tell me the truth.”

“N-no,” you stammered. “I’m s-sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” He came to sit at your side and kissed the top of your head. “You have no need to be sorry. The last thing I would want to do is have you regret our first time together because your weren’t ready yet.”

A tear stung at the corner of your eye and you attempted to wipe it away without Spencer noticing, but he did. “I didn’t want to say no,” you said. “I want to be ready. I don’t even know what ready is. But I want you and I just kept telling myself it was nerves.”

“That’s probably what it is. But that doesn’t mean you should push through nerves. Please don’t push yourself for me,” he said, pulling you into his lap. His hands rested comfortably around your bare waist. “I’m more than willing to wait for whenever you’re ready.”

“But why am I not ready? I should be ready!” You exclaimed as you hung your head in annoyance. 

Spencer chuckled at your exaggerated language and tone; you weren’t normally like this. “Who says you should be?”

“People!” You said even louder and more animated than before. “I don’t know, Spence. There’s just this belief lingering out in the world that if you have a particular relationship with someone, or you’ve been dating for a certain amount of time, or whatever, that you should be ready and you should want to be with the person you love, and I do! I want to be with you so badly, but my body is just fucking shaking. I just am not ready, and I don’t know why and not knowing why is making me mad at myself.” In your rant you had turned around and faced him, flailing your hands about in aggravation, until you collapsed back into his lap in a hissy fit. 

With your head resting in his lap, Spencer reached down and turned you to face him. “There is nothing wrong with not being ready and any self-respecting human being should be fine with waiting.” All of a sudden his mouth dropped in horror. “What about the kissing and the touching and the shirts off?! Has that been okay? Have you been okay with that?”

“Yea,” you laughed. “That’s been fine. That’s another reason I don’t understand why the rest of me isn’t ready.” You curled your knees into yourself and rested your head on them. “I’m just not.”

Spencer reached his hand out and grabbed yours so he could pull you into his lap. “Come here.” A small smile crept across your face and you fell into him, still frustrated. “You let me know whenever you’re ready. And when we’re doing other stuff,” he smiled, running his lips and teeth along your jawline, “please tell me if you’re uncomfortable. I swear I’ll understand.”

You heaved a sigh and rested your forehead against his. “Okay, I promise. Can we cuddle instead? I would hate to waste all this half-nakedness.”

“I mean staring at you half-naked is never a waste,” he laughed, pulling you down and under the covers. “But neither is cuddling, so get over here.”


End file.
